what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize