saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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