Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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