I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
