operation harelip BJ is a go
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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