you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
