glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
