This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Congratulations! We have a period
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