alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
