Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
