I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
