Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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