we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
