Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How does one acquire holy water?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
