Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
