He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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