Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
