She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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