We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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