Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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