you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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