when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
