you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
