She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
