who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
