I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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