Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
