Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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