I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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