I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Everyone says I win the strip club
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
