The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
