I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
