I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
