Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
