He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
