He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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