How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
