no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
