so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
