worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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