maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
