I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
