so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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