chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
