I've blown a few things in my day
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
