found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Come see our sink grown plant.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
