I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
