This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
