We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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