Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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