He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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