Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
