I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
