Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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