I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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