Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize