If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
