im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
