I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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