If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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